My Open Letter is what I decided to Start My New Blog Off With

To Whom It May Concern:

This is an open letter to those who have pissed me off over the last couple of days; like the woman outside of Starbucks who felt the need to remind me that I shouldn't be smoking, because it's "bad for you." I've said it once, and I'll say it again: when it's okay to randomly tell an obese person who you don't know to NOT eat something, because it's bad for them, THEN it will be okay to tell me and other smokers that it's not okay to smoke.

If you ask me I'll rather be a smoker than an eater. At least I can hide the fact that I smoke (if I wanted to, but I'm not ashamed enough to), but an eater cannot hide the fact that they eat, no matter how much black they wear. There's a thin line when black can either make you look slimmer, or make you look like an over-sized oil tank.

In addition to the smoking comment, I was at a stop sign this afternoon when I noticed an elderly woman walking her dog, and my window was down. I then tried to move up a little with my car, because I couldn't look down the street without an obstructed view to see if any other vehicles were coming down. The bitch yelled out, "I've seen you do this before! That's a $250 fine! Don't do it ever again you fucking asshole!!" (Apparently she lives in the area and claims to have yelled at me before for my innocent action, but I honestly do not remember.)

So I decided to take the higher route, and as politely as I could said back, "Maybe you should go fuck yourself you miserable bitch.""I'm friends with the mayor in this town, and I am going to have you arrested," she spit back.

(Please note: this is all taking place while I am still stopped at the stop sign, and she is five feet away from my car.)

I really didn't want to continue with it, but I was so irked throughout the day over certain things I figured she would be my perfect target. So I told her she should stop being so miserable just because other pedestrians cannot tell the difference between her and her dog. I could've sworn she was going to come up to me and slap me in the face, but I drove off. I think she was a little off to begin with, though. I was on the phone throughout this whole thing so my friend heard everything, and he couldn't stop laughing. My friends know me for just randomly lashing out on someone, but I always do it for a reason.

Like the time a few months ago I threw my Blackberry at a Best Buy cashier (which labeled me as Naomi Campbell among my friends), and I had to sign a waiver that stated the next time I entered the store I had to be with a chaperone. But again, it happened for a reason. I was asking technical questions about my phone, and when the guy went to hand it over to me, he literally threw it into my hand; so I threw it right back at him. I only treat people with the same respect they treat me; maybe sometimes a little less depending on who they are, but that's just me.

My last victim of this blog:

People who find it absolutely necessary to pass their bowel movements in public. I'm not one of those people who can do such a thing. In fact, I'm not even talking about public areas such as malls, the workplace, or other various places. I'm talking about bars and clubs. Who the fuck takes a shit at a club? Whoever you are, fuck yourself. I went into a stall a few nights ago in a club, because I had to pee like no tomorrow, and there was shit on the toilet seat, with some spilling onto the ground.

A few things:

1. Are you a fucking animal to have shat (yes, that is the correct tense of the word) all over the seat and not in the designated area?
2. Do you not have any respect for yourself or, at least, some dignity?
3. How DARE you?

I almost threw up. I seriously almost lost my buzz. I had to pretend like I never saw it. It reminded me of the Two Girls, One Cup video that had me sick for days. Sorry to have ended this blog on a shitty note (pun intended), but I need to go back and finish studying. To sum up:

1. Don't judge people who smoke unless you're perfect.
2. Don't talk to strangers.
3. Do NOT shit in clubs, and if you do, please clean up after yourselves. Otherwise, please wear an adult diaper.